Before going into this important topic, we need to learn (briefly) what practically our Deen/lifestyles is! The one we know as Islam, (as well as, what’s the essence of the massage of Quran n Sunnah), afterwards, we’d be able to understand the practicalities of Deen
Islam is about two major elements:
1- Huqooq Allah (Rights n responsibilities towards Allah).
2- Huqooq Al-Ibaad (rights n responsibilities towards all creation of God).
Both of these are also subdivided into two branches:
1- Huqooq Allah : a) Imaan/concepts of believes, faith
b) Ibadaat/ forms of worship (how to turn those believes into actions).
2- Huqood al Ibaad: c) Akhlaaq/ etiquettes, manners, ethics
d) Mu’amalaat/ fair dealings.
So, in simple words: our deen, this amazing way of life (Islam), is all about taking care of others rights and fulfilling our responsibilities towards them, as much as we are able to!
(Keeping in mind the Hadith of “Al MUFLISS”/financially broke person!
Such type of a Muslim who’d come at judgment day with allot of Salah, fasting, charity… at the same time he would have hurt other people, i.e. curse them, hit them, violated their rights…etc. While Allah the Almighty with HIS ultimate justice would distribute this man’s good deeds to the oppressed ones! Until his good deeds will be finished….).
In more practical : Our deen/Islam, is all about fulfilling RIGHTS n RESPONSIBILITIES with TAQWAA/piety filled in our hearts!
Sermon/Khutbah on Jan/19/2018:
“RIGHTS of WIVES” : (can a husband beat his wife in Islam?)
Now, let’s learn, in Islamic view point, about the concepts of this institution! We know as “NIKAAH”/ (Marriage)! Which Allah the Almighty has blessed us with:
Among the major rights n responsibilities we have (after our parents) are of our spouses!
Especially the wives! People (of modern women rights activists) say:
“Men and women are equal”! This statements is not accurate in Islamic view point!
Men do not share same rights as women in Islam! Likewise, women do not share equal responsibilities in Islam!
(WOMEN HAS MORE RIGHTS COMPARING TO MEN in Islam, while:
MEN HAS MORE RESPOSIBILITIES THAN WOMEN! In Islamic perspective).
Now the Ayah, which allot of violent husbands hide behind it! And thus the enemies of Almighty God who try to criticize Holy Quran because of it:
“….and beat them….”! “…..واضربوهن…..”
You’ll always find them quoting this much portion!!!
What is before it?!!! What is after that?!!!
Totally quoting out of context!!!
It never meant as its being taken!!!
Let’s learn this word of Quran in context from the person (PBUH) who brought to us the Holy Quran!
Who’s (PBUH) explanation of Quran takes the highest position in interpreting/explaining Holy Quran (after Quran itself).
The whole Ayah is:
“الرجال قوامون على النساء بما فضل الله بعضهم على بعض وبما أنفقوا من أموالهم فالصالحت قانتات حافظات للغيب بما حفظ الله، واللاتي تخافون نشوزهن فعظوهن واهجروهن في المضاجع واضربوهن، فإن أطعنكم فلا تبغوا عليهن سبيلا، إن الله كان عليا كبيرا” (سورة النساء: 34)
)men are caretakers upon their women, and out of what Almighty Allah prefer some over another and because of their earning/spending responsibility upon their wives! So the pious women are down to earth, securing all the secrets of this bond as its remain covered by Almighty Allah, and about those wives whom you are afraid of rebelling/ breaking this bond, talk to them/ advise them, (if this doesn’t work) then separate the beds/rooms, (if this also doesn’t work), then beat them, if they obey you, then do not seek any way against them, indeed Allah is the Almighty, Exalted).
Now, keeping the above verse of Holy Quran in mind, along with other Ayaat/verses like:
“هن لباس لكم وأنتم لباس لهن…”. (سورة البقرة :287)
(Your wives are like an attire/dress code to you, while you are their attires).
These are the essence of marriage in Islamic perspectives:
– 100% complete mutual TRUST : the more trust spouses would build up upon one another, the more their life would become comfortable and happy
– Ultimate mutual RESPECT: As I wanted to be respected! I respect my partner i.e.
Prophet Muhammad PBUH saw his wife Safiyyah RA, who’s height was short, trying to ride camel, in front of his companions, he PBUH came forward to the camel, bend his body and asked his wife to step up on his lap for riding… the complete Hadith in Sahih Al Bukhari.
These are steps if the situation between husband and wife is not GETTING ALONG WELL:
1- Talking to each other, to figure out what are the issues causing irritations (No 3rd party/person interruptions)
2- If talking doesn’t work then, separation first in talks! Then in beds! Third step is separation of rooms!
3- Then beating (WHICH, ACCORDING TO PRACTICAL ACTITION OF PROPHIT MUHAMMAD PEACE BE UPON HIM, IS ABORGATED! AS HE NEVER BEAT HIS WIVES!!! OR YELLED / SOUTED AT ANY ONE OF THEM EVER!!! WHICH MAKES ALL THE DIFERENCE! PLUS HIS INSTRUCTIONS
HOW TO BE EXTRA POLITE TO OUR WIVES, WHICH I’M JUST GOING TO QUOTE NEXT)!!!
a) Abdulah ibn Abbas RA said, the verdict about beating wives is being abrogated by this command of Almighty Allah:
“وعاشروهن بالمعروف! فإن كرهتموهن فعسى أن تكرهوا شيئا ويجعل الله فيه خيرا كثيرا” (سورة النساء : 19)
)And deal with them/ treat them (your wives) with the kindness and justice, with the best manners! If you dislike them, it may be that you dislike a thing through which Allah may bring about a great deal of KHAIR/ good, blessings).
(See the details in Tafseer At-Tabbaree, Tafseer Al Qurtabee and Tafseer ibn Kaseer under both Ayaat: 19 and 34 from Surah An-Nisaa).
b) Even after divorce, husbands are not supposed to take what they have given to their wives, no matter that was as huge as a treasure! (See verse No: 20, Surah An-Nisaa and verse No: 229, Surah Al-Baqarah and Surah At-Talaq verse Nos: 1, 2).
1- Commands of Rasool ul Allah PBUH and his teachings (Hadith & Sunnah) are considered the 2nd major source of understanding Holy Quran! He PBUH emphasized:
“لا تضربوا إماء الله” (سنن أبو داود: حديث رقم 2147، سنن النسائي حديث رقم: 9167، سنن ابن ماجه رقم: 1975).
(Never hit your wives!).
2- Actions of Prophet Muhammad PBUH, in his all life! He PBUH never hit his wives EVER!
(As we’ve learned from authentic Ahadith: his wife Sayyedah Ayesha RA said quoted in Sahih Al-Bukhari n other books):
(صحيح البخاري) “ما ضرب رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم طفلا ولا امرأة ولا خادما قط“
)Prophet of God never hit a child, or a women or even his servants and slaves, in his whole life!).
3- The interpretation of this Ayah by Prophet PBUH himself:
عن جابر بن عبدالله رضي الله عنهما، عن النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم أنه قال: “واستوصوا بالنساء خيرا، فإنكم أخذتموهن بأمان الله، واستحللتم فروجهن بكلمة الله، فاتقوا الله في النساء، قإنهن عندكم عوان، ولكم عليهن أن لا يؤطئن فرشكم أحدا تكرهونه، فإن فعلن ذلك فاضربوهن ضربا غير مبرح، ولهن عليكم رزقهن وكسوتهن بالمعروف” (صحيح مسلم: 1218).
(Narrated Jabir bin Abdullah RA, Prophet of Allah said: “Deal with your wives with the best manners! As you took them in this bond by the covenant of Allah! And you have intimate relations with them through the word of Allah! So fear Almighty Allah in bad treatment of your wives! As they are with you as anchors of your houses! While your rights upon them are: they should never let anyone on your beds! If they do so, you may beat them (for humiliation, not for harming), their rights upon you: That you have to provide for them with the best of your abilities).
So, beating in this Hadith is very clear about a wife who commits adultery!
In the same Hadith:
“لقد طاف بآل محمد (صلى الله عليه وسلم) نساء كثير يشكون أزواجهن، فلا تضربوا إماء الله! ليس أولئك خياركم” ،
“لن يضرب خياركم” (سنن أبو داود: 2147. سنن النسائي:9167. سنن إبن ماجه: 1975).
) So many women (wives) complaint to my family members (wives of Rasool ul Allah PBUH), so never hit your wives, whoever does that, is not a good person/Muslim).
Other narration: (The good Muslim husbands will never hit their wives).
4- Hitting a wife is really a big deal! We, as Muslims are not allowed to hit a servant or even a slave! Please pay attention upon this famous Hadith Al Jariyah:
“Moawiyah As Sulami RA, said, I appointed a slave girl of mine as shepherd, out of her negligence, a wolf took one of the sheep, when she informed me, I, out of rage, slapped her, afterwards, I felt wrong and went to Messenger of Allah PBUH, after hearing my story n talking to the girl, Prophet PBUH said: Free her as you don’t deserve her”. (Sahih Muslim).
In conclusion, reading above Ayaat n Ahadith:
– Hitting wives is not allowed in Islam!
– Only in one condition: if wife committing adultery! As explained by Prophet Muhammad PBUH, as mentioned previously on point No.4
– Even on that situation Prophet PBUH emphasized that a good Muslim husband would never raise his hands upon his wives (hitting them), either keep her with kindness, good manners or leave her by the kindness and best manners (Al Quran: Surah Al Baqarah:231. Surah At-Talaq:2).
– Quran has given the option of لعان” “ LI-AAN, which means if a husband sees his wife in intimate condition with other person, and he decided to drag her to court, he has to take times oath about what he has seen, in that case they get divorced permanently! The better if husband can’t let it go, then to leave her quietly!
So, simply, men are responsible of earning n spending upon their wife, families… while women are responsible for inside of her home.
The last will of Prophet Muhammad PBUH:
“Be careful about women under your care”! (He PBUH, said it three times!).
Also, Prophet of Allah, PBUH made a CRITERIA OF A GOOD MUSLIM, IS THE ONE WHO’S GOOD/KIND MANNERFUL TO HIS WIFE! And a vise versa!
“خيركم، خيركم لنسائه، أوقال لأهله، وأنا خيركم لنسائه” (سنن الترمذي: حديث رقم 3892 . سنن ابن ماجه : 1977
(The best Muslim, amongst you is the one who’s etiquettes/ manners are good in treating his wife! And you may see my example in the treatment of my wives).
I, already mentioned the Hadith of Sayyedah Ayesha in Sahih Al-Bukhari and other books:
“Prophet Muhammad PBUH, never hit any child, women or even servants/slaves in his PBUH whole life”.
In the Islamic view, this relationship is not of a master servant! Or boss to subordinate! Senior to junior…. Etc. Its not also basing upon equality (as few could assume!), we have it crystal clear that husbands get the superiority in the fields of RESPOSIBILLITIES! While wives get the superiority in fields of RIGHTS!
“هن لباس لكم وأنتم لباس لهن” (سورة البقرة : 187)
(Your wives are like a garments to their husbands! Likewise husbands are garments to their wives)
My Shaikh (Dr. Ghulam Murtaza Malik Shaheed) said in his amazing Tafseer ANWAAR UL QURAN:
“If we just pay attention on this amazing example Almighty Allah providing us about husbands n wives: LIBAAS/garments/attire:
– Garments: Represents our personality.
– Garments: Is a symbol of our honor (if someone hold us through our collar!).
– Garments: Protect us from cold.
– Garments: Represent our beauty/charms…
– Garments: Reveals how modern, fashionable we are or vice versa!
– Garments: Covers our shame! (If husband reveals his wife’s secrets he’s not exposing her! In fact, he’s exposing his own shame! And other way around is also right!).
These are few of many things the garments represents”.
Prophet PBUH used to start the sermon of marriage by this first verse in Surah An-Nisaa:
“يا أيها الناس اتفوا ربكم الذي خلقكم من نفس واحدة وخلق منها زوجها وبث منهما رجالا كثيرا ونساءا واتقوا الله الذين تساءلون به والأرحام إن الله كان عليكم رقيبا” (سورة النساء:1)
(O people! Fear your Lord! Who created you from one soul (Adam), then HE created from that soul his spouse!
Afterwards, HE spread out of these two allot of men and women.
So, fear the ONE, by WHO’s name you ask/join in relationship! Be aware, Almighty Allah is keenly observing you -your treatment).
Then Almighty Allah has defined this beautiful bond by following verse:
“ومن آياته أن خلق لكم من أنفسكم أزواجا لتسكنوا إليها وجعل بينكم مودة ورحمة إن في ذلك لآيات لقوم يتفكرون” سورة الروم
(And amongst HIS signs, HE created for you those spouse whom you get complete inner satisfaction through, then he set up between both of you ultimate love and mercy! Indeed in that there are clear signs for the people of thinking).
Have a blessed day
M. Bilal Malik,Imam, Residing scholar,Islamic cent of NE FLPH # (407)-430-3960